How it works
Everything comes from public on-chain trades of the address you paste. Cooked never signs, never trades and never links a wallet to a person.
- Verdict
- Raw to Cooked, from the 30-day return on what the wallet spent (realized PnL ÷ amount bought).
- PnL
- Realized and open PnL over the last 30 days. For very active wallets we read the last 100 trades and lead with the 30-day realized PnL from GMGN instead.
- Sold early
- A sell after which the token closed an hour at least 2× higher within 7 days. Missed = tokens sold × (peak − sell price).
- Held to zero
- Positions that lost 90% or more.
- Quick flips
- Sells within 5 minutes of the matching buy.
- Fees
- Network, priority and DEX/bot fees, plus Jito tips.
- Degen IQ
- Computed, not written: 0–200, where 100 is an average degen. Return on what went in, win rate, rugged buys, sold-early regret, quick flips, fees, and entries before smart money each move it.
- Roast
- Written by Claude from the numbers above and nothing else. Every line has to cite one of them; a line with a number or a token that is not in the data is thrown out before you see it. It jokes about trades, never about the person.
- Video
- 15 seconds, voiced by an open-weights voice model and rendered on our own server, vertical and square.
- Deep cut
- Paid once in USDC or SOL, checked on chain: every losing trade, the patterns behind them, what smart-money wallets did in the same coins, and three what-ifs.
Sources: GMGN (trades), Jupiter (prices), GeckoTerminal (charts), Quorum (smart-money entries). Bots, exchanges and empty wallets are recognised before anything is read.
Your wallet and you would rather not? Hide it from Cooked: sign a message with it and its page, card and video are deleted.